The Ballad of Andrew Pussie, part 2
sent to firstname.lastname@example.org
“So I emailed you twice already and I never got a reply because you guys were probably too busy delaying some crappy webcomic, but hey, whatever. Let’s talk.
So I’ve got this band kinda and it’s called The Empty Plastic Bottle Orchestra. We’ve got four albums, three EPs, two compilations and an amount of singles I’m not gonna bother counting because opening itunes is a chore. And, it turns out, we have like two fans, which is three more than I thought I had. As it also turns out, a third of these two fans likes some crappy webcomic called Homosuck or something, and apparently Homosuck has some dubstep remixes of Super Smash Bros. songs that it pretends are stuff people are willing to pay for on bandcamp.
So, Ms. Pussie, even though you’ve already blocked me on twitter because you are a whore who can’t function as a person without a dick between her knees, I come with a deal: you put some empty plastic bottles on your bandcamp. You get some terrible music that isn’t dubstep Smash Bros. and I get to laugh at how some loser put my music up for his terrible webcomic
Here’s a link to the latest album, so you know I mean business and I’m not ousted Nigerian royalty that needs you to wire me some money
“But wait!” you may be exclaiming even though you are at a computer and reading an email, “why?” well, that’s kind of a vague question
-Love, this guy who is sending you an email
P.S. I named a song after you on the album it’s called The Ballad of Andrew Pussie
P.S.S. When’s bard’s quest gonna come back
P.S.S.S. really homosuck is pretty much crap you should just end MPSA forever right now
P.S.S.S.S. are you and andrew hussie the same person”